Travelling to Gujarat!!

Gujarat, a place I never thought of going.

A place to go!

 a place where chemical industries flourish in India.

A place where is activity all around as I call it!

I think being an Indian we should be proud of the highways that we have across the country.

People might think however they want about the Indian roads. But I'm happy about the way it is developing.

There is a lot of work happening, people are not idle, it is a thing to be proud of indeed.

U might think I'm  an ardent follower of the politics, but I'm a person who appreciate the work of people and I say no to politics.

Being honest!!

It is easy to say, 'be honest'!

But is it really?

It is very difficult for me indeed, but it is the one thing I wish  not.

I'm honest with others when deeds does not touch the elements of my being.

I've always teased everyone with my closed book policy! Which I choice is a delusion.

I know I'm no superhuman and I'm week.

When things happen, I do get hurt, but I never reveal them.

I do cry, but not openly.

I was like that then too, but there was a sense of comfort.

Now I feel insecure.

In consequence I've put my shields up thicker without knowing.

A state of volatility, maybe.

Now I want to bring everything out.

But I'm still insecure.

I've this way of thinking that if I act strong then I'm strong; but I wish loved ones knew I'm not.

For some time it was the truth.

I had the sense of comfort.

But as time passed by I realize the ultimatum,  'no one belongs to you'.

'You cannot depend on anyone but yourself'.

'Being strong for yourself, for your dreams, for your promises and for your happiness'.

"Happiness from people is from time to time, happiness from yourself can be continuous but it depends on the choices that you make, the life that you live and want to live.It doesn't depend on the hurdles that you face.It will always be there if you have found peace in you, as long as you forgive and love yourself, as long as you fight for it."

:-)

May be I've not yet realized many things in this life.

    

Every sense is magical.

It was late December,I was at the park around the corner, sitting observing,the seniors talking to each other, smiling at  others' words, but can't make out what they are conversing about. The features on their faces out of the emotions  say a lot, it was quite amusing to notice those little things, never got bored....!!! so  I did not notice the  kid of about two years  younger came to my side and asked me "what I was reading?", as  I deduced  his actions to be so I showed him my book, he tried to read as much as he could and ran away as his parents called....the parents constant hovering when you are a kid...

I'm alone and lonely I try spending my time seeing beauty of the world in small things...people like me communicate through actions, but  in our world  words like 'sound', 'music', 'ringing', 'noise'... is something which we consider to be like the presence of God to normal humans-hard to believe in  or out of the world

I've never understood it.

When we read about them in books how sound-The particular auditory effect produced by a given cause- is a result or cause of  actions...the chirruping of birds, sound of horns, the baby's cry when born, the sound of wind blowing,.....or the sound of my cry, it is way out of my limit of imagination, but  I have always been curious...

To me, people singing their songs or gyrating on the dance floor is like making a fool out of themselves...then I have learnt that people are moved to tears by music and words when said with the effect to touch your feelings. That was the hardest thing for me to acknowledge or to wrap my head around.

          As you might have understood by now that

I was born profoundly deaf, so I was abandoned when I was a baby.
Until  a few days ago someone sponsored  me a pair of hearing aids for the first time, the former described life has been my life. Though I have had known  the existence of such aids through my teachers at the orphanage, being a kid never had the means to treatments or aids.

The first thing I heard was my shoe scraping across the carpet; it startled me. I have never heard that before and out of ignorance, I assumed it was too quiet for anyone to hear.

I sat in the doctor’s office frozen as a cacophony of sounds attacked me. The whir of the computer, the hum of the AC, the clacking of the keyboard, and when my best friend walked in I couldn't believe that he had a slight rasp to his voice. He joked that it was time to cut back on the cigarettes.

That night everyone at the orphanage surprised me singing " Happy birthday  to you", tears rolled down my eyes, I thought to myself it is indeed my birthday, when I can cry out to hear my tears...so a new chapter in my life began...

         Being able to hear the music for the first time ever was unreal....

I think by saying at times "I compete only with myself " doesn't always work, 'coz in reality, to believe in self we have to run the marathon,and it doesn't matter who came first as what matters the most is we summoned our courage  to dare our will to cross the line and never give up till we cross the line.

May be!!

Maybe, maybe is a probability,
Predicted or non predictable stimulation,
Love you or don't love you or maybe...
Sure or not sure..
How magical or how fascinating.
Oh! make a guess in tune or not
Oh! make a bet in the existence of luck
Oh! zero or hundred percent
Oh! 1, 2, 3..
weird or not
tall or short, ugly or handsome
american or Indian, straight or slanted!!
there is always a probability
things happen out of guesses....

Hurt

Hurt!!

It will Ofcourse Happen again!


For Fallible us, when conflicts arise, we hurt each other.


But after the hurting we will be more caring and stronger.


Enabling us to move forward...

Do what you feel

I don’t see whats wrong with doing what you feel, It’s never too late for anything until you’re on a death bed.
Because time waits for no one!
If you want it, then go get it. No one knows what you want so no one will wait for you. Don’t make them wait. Allow them to live!
To act on emotions right as you feel them. I think there’s no point in hiding how you feel, but instead saying what you feel as you feel it, in that exact moment.